Over the weekend, I did some serious editing of Chapters 2, 3 and 4, mostly based on feedback I got from Greg on Saturday night. The major issues were making the dialogue a little more authentic, cutting down on 'lists' of events (evident in that part in Chapter 2 where Z lists all the escape attempts...yawn), and cleaning up awkward wording. I'm very pleased with what came out of it, and today I sent the brand-new chapters 2-4 off to H and A, at their request. Again, I love that people are asking to read more. It's just the neatest feeling ever.
J and D at work both gave me some feedback as well. Some interesting thoughts that came out of it so far:
* J thought that Zachary should be younger if this is a YA novel. I wouldn't mind going 18, maybe 17...but younger than that does not interest me for this book. For one thing, Zachary's pretty developed, mentally, at the point where this story begins. He's figured out he can't be bossed around, and he's rebellious but with brains behind it. He's smart. How did he get schooled? I will need to bring this up soon, too.
* J also says he forgot sometimes that he was reading about a male protagonist. OK, this one bothers me because I do NOT want to have too much of myself go into Zachary's voice. I wonder if J thinks this because he knows I'm a female writing this book and he can't get away from that fact? I don't know. Either way, I asked D if she thought the same thing and she assured me that no, she never mistook Zachary's voice for a feminine voice. Whew. It still gave me a little panic moment.
* D thinks the presentation scene in Chapter 4 drags a bit. Maybe I can take a look at the pacing there and see what it could be.
* D also wants to see more of the dog. She also didn't catch Zachary's age, oddly enough...or the quick mention of Zachary playing with Dingo at the very end of chapter 4. Hmm. Anything there to consider?
Two people (G & D) have told me now to watch "The Pretender" after they read these new chapters. So that's something I definitely will do. I'm a little worried that something is there that's too similar for my book's good (will people think I am copying the Pretender?!), but perhaps it will just give me some ideas of what not to do or what to do, etc. We'll see.
CHAPTER 5 is officially underway.
I don't know what I'm doing. I just added some newer stuff to what I had started last week, but it's not much and it's more narrative backstory stuff. Finding out what they've been doing to keep Zachary under control these past three months since he's had the implant. That's all fine and good, but for some reason I started writing the scene that he is getting ready to do Open Water Exercises. Wouldn't be a problem if I didn't write a silly bit about him realizing his wetsuit is too tight. Huh? What's THAT got to do with anything?? It cracks me up right now. It's written dead serious, of course...but I'm laughing thinking of Zachary and his various wetsuit mishaps and bloopers. So yeah, I have to go back and maybe think of something to replace all that with.
I've got the two possible Paul scenarios to consider, too. He can either be 1)capitalist entrepreneur or 2) a type of terrorist. I think #2 is the more interesting option so I will probably go with that. Maybe his wife is the reason he's so passionate about doing what he wants to do. Maybe... I don't know yet. So much to think about.
Zachary's going to cockblock Jacob soon, too. Awesome. :)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Honestly, the age thing wasn't a problem for me. I could tell he was young enough, and not old. I liked the ageless thing.
Never had problems with the voice, either.
I also like that Dingo's there, but not overly so.
You know I didn't have any trouble following any dialogue or flow or anything.
It still all reads like a Jason Bourne novel, to me. Any detail the reader wonders about unfolds later in the story, eventually. Like it does in BJT. *shrug*. Not every book puts it all out there at the beginning, otherwise, what would you read through it for? There are tons of different writing styles, and different ways to write books. I guess you'll figure out which way YOU like best, which way presents what you're trying to create in it's best light...
I never thanked you for these comments, Jen. You're encouraging me to keep on going, you know! So I'm just really grateful for you...and I am glad I shared this blog with you. I think I like sending off 3 chapters at a time to people, so if you are interested, I will send you 5-7 when they're done. Just let me know. :)
Post a Comment